WHAT IS SELF-HARM?

Self-harm is far more widespread than is realised, and can take many forms. The most common is probably cutting, often on the arms but also on other parts of the body. Cuts are usually quite superficial, but some people cut themselves more deeply. Some people also scrape, scratch or pick their skin so badly that chronic sores develop, and scars are left.

Sometimes people burn or scald themselves, while others punch themselves or hit parts of their bodies against the wall or something, to cause pain and bruising. Less visible injuries might be caused by inserting or swallowing objects. Some people also hurt themselves by pulling out their hair or eyelashes, or by repeatedly biting and tearing the skin on their hands or fingers.

Self-harm often begins in childhood or adolescence; it can start at anytime in life. It may be short-lived, but some people continue to hurt themselves off and on for many years, if not their whole life.

Self-harm is often mistakenly seen as a suicide attempt. However people who harm themselves are usually very clear about the difference between self-harm and a suicide attempt. Whatever similarities self-harm may bear to suicidal acts, it is not about dying. It's about trying to cope with life and carry on living.

Whilst some people harm themselves in ways which are obvious to others, or seek help for their injuries, others are surprisingly successful at hiding what they do. Shame, fear and humiliation may force people to keep their self-harm secret for many years. This means that the true nature and extent of the problem are unknown. The huge response from someone to press attention to self-harm suggests that many more people harm themselves than is recognised.

Many people cope with difficulties or distress in their lives in ways which are harmful to themselves. Some people drink too much, others make themselves ill through overwork, worry, or by ignoring their own needs and feelings. Many people smoke, drink and drive, gamble, or do other socially acceptable things which are nevertheless risky and harmful to themselves as well as other people. For some, starving or over eating are forms of self-harm by which they cope with conflicts and painful feelings.

Self-harm may be much more immediately and dramatically destructive than these other forms of self-harm, though not necessarily any more dangerous long-term. However, like these it is carried out to help someone cope with their life.

However upsetting it may be for you, to know somebody that self-harms, it doesn't mean that the person's intention is to upset you. It is their way of coping. The size of the wound isn't a measure of the size of the conflict going on inside the person. Some people have deep wounds,others have slight injuries. They all have the same meanings and should be taken seriously.